Over the next few days I will be addressing issues that are of great concern to me. Hopefully, they are controversial and somewhat thought provoking. If not, oh well it is just a blog.
Over the Next Few Days I will address the Following
1. Guys and Girls (That Shoud be fun)
2. Passion and Calling are they Equal?
3. Are all Christians Republicans and should they be? (No!!!)
4. Church in America, is it Christian?
5. Will The Texas Rangers ever win the World Series (I have a reputation to uphold)
Blog #1 may be lengthy and needs this * for any readers. Anything said in this blog is spoken as a generality. THIS IS NOT DIRECTED AT ANY ONE PERSON, THIS IS BASED ON OBSERVATION AMONGST GUYS AND GIRLS AND ON MUCH STUDY OF THE SUBJECT.
Here it goes:
To begin I think I need to establish some perspective. This is written from the perspective of a Christian, i will expound on that in a later blog. If you do not know Christ this blog will not make sense to you and may seem ridiculous. Feel free to read and comment, I always appreciate the thoughts of those who may disagree with me.
I don't think it is any secret that in America there is a great epidemic. That epedimic is a thing called divorce. One of the really sad things is that among born again believers the divorce rate is just as high if not higher than that of non-christians. Personally, I am of the persuasion that this is due to a foundational problem in how guys and girls relate to each other prior to being married and how they select their mate.
I am single, as are most of my friends that I spend a lot of time with. One thing that we often talk about is finding "The One". This bothers me a little bit, because I believe it is exactly the opposite of what we should be doing. I think all of us have our list of what "The One" looks like, acts like, thinks like and etc... Well, most likely this person that we have dreamed up in our imagination does not exist. When marriage was first introduced it was introduced like this, "They two shall become one." Here is how we have it backwards, we are looking for "The One", when reality is that when we get married we should then be working toward becoming "The One" for each other. If you and I are looking for someone who is going to be "The One" we will never find them. This is a life long process of building a relationship that each person is helping the other grow closer to God, and in the benefit is that you grow closer to each other.
There is a remedy to this. This is probably going to be contrary to what most people believe, but stay with me. If this epedimic is to be cured, the foundation needs to be replaced. The foundation needs to be as follows. Guys and Girls need to build relationships through appropriate friendsips that turn into marital relationships. I would like to break this up into 2 categories. One will be direction for us guys, and one for you ladies.
Guys: This is of utmost importance. DO NOT PLAY WITH A GIRLS HEART!!!!!!! If you are not interested in a girl, don't do anything to make her think that you are. If you are, do everything to make her think that you are. Now, I know this is not as easy as it seems, but if you are doing that you are nothing more than an overgrown teenager and you are not a Man. Here is what is really important, Guys if you are working on a relationship with a girl, please build it in such a way that if either of you decide that you need to "break up" it is done in a cordial way. If you are an adult Man, you should be able to pursue a young lady and if it doesn't work out, you should still be able to be friends with the girl. The question arises, How do you do this? Well, it is going to come down to who's interest are you looking out for. If your relationship is all about making her think how awesome and great you are, then when you "break up" there will be bitterness. If your relationship is built on making her feel like she should in Christ, and one or both of you just determine that its not meant to be, then you should be able to have a relationship after. Guys, we should never be making a girl feel like she can't live without us, we should be about the business of making feel like they are daughters of a King. A king who gave his very life just so he could be with us. There is a lesson there but I will let you figure that out on your on.
Girls: That is for another blog and another day, this one is to long.
Change ain't easy
11 years ago
3 comments:
You and I have had philosophical discussions before, so you probably know where you and I will agree, and where we won't. This is especially true if you've seen my MySpace page.
But I have to say that you have a lot of good ideas here, chief among them the idea that marriage is something that should never be entered into lightly. I entered and exited twice, but I believe that I did so each time with the solemn belief that it was the right thing for me, and the right thing for us. I have always held the romantic ideal of "happily every after," and I think that the lion's share of the blame for that not happening is squarely on my shoulders.
You're right in that the best relationship are bourne of friendship, which foundation can remain and rise from the ashes of any attempt at something greater.
I would also agree that the religion, whether involved or not, plays little if any part in the divorce rate. Maybe those who are religious like yourself won't first live with someone before marriage, and maybe this could cause you to jump into something too soon. Maybe not. Maybe living with someone (as I am now) can create an air of the cavalier, rather than that of commitment. Or maybe it's good to try each other on for size (literally and figuratively).
When speaking of people looking for The One, my thoughts on that have always resonated with yours. Why would you try to completely preconceive someone? You must have rational standards to be sure, but how can you expect anyone to live up to your preconceived idea of perfection. I think what got me started thinking about that was a quite beautiful song by Savage Garden called I Knew I Loved You. The lyric says, "I knew I loved you before I met you. I think I dreamed you into life." I thought that was disturbing.
You're a music lover, too. Go check it out!
---Jay
Welcome to the world of blogging! I'm looking forward to your post about the Rangers winning the World Series!
Dude it's late and i'll read this tomorrow but i bet you didn't know i had one of these too. OH and our hopes lie in Holland, Feliz and Hurley.
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