Passion and Calling

The dictionary defines passion as the following:
intense, driving, or overmastering feeling or conviction

This is something I think about often. I think if you asked most people who knew me what I am passin is, they would say sports. Specifically, they would say football or baseball. I would argue that yes I am passionate about those, they are not my soul stirring passion.

As a christian, I have often heard that if you are passionate about something then you should pursue that as your career. I am working in my own mind to determine if that is accurate and this poses a couple of problems.

First, as Christians I believe we are all to be passionate about Jesus Christ and letting people know what he has done for us. This is hard for me sometimes, because at this current juncuture I do not enjoy my job one bit. Each day I look forward to the day when I am doing something I feel "called" to do. Eventually, I will end up working in the public school system, but I have to make it through 5 years at my current employer. I am 4/5ths of the way done, but I am having trouble thinking I can make it through the final year. Every morning, when I wake up, I have been trying to think of it this way. If my passion is Jesus as it should be, then each day when I go to work, I should be his representative to my job. Then I wonder how am I doing at that, and most of the time I think.....I can not be doing a very good job. When you don't enjoy your job it is hard not to complain about your job. When you don't really want to be at work, it is difficult to do a good job. The thing is I have a God who came and died for me. I don't think he could have been having a great time as he was being nailed to a cross, but at that time that is exactly where he needed to be. Also, I know he did not want to be there because he asked his Father to take the cup from his hand, but that the Father's will be done. This is a hard prayer to pray, but I must if Jesus did. I don't want to be here right now, but if its your will I am thankful to be in your will because I know you care for me. I look forward to the day when I am in a place that is more enjoyabe, such as when Jesus ended up on the right hand of the Father.

My next and final question is: What if your other passions are not vocational? If there is one thing that keeps me awake at night, it is family. If you are reading this, you may or may not know the story of my family. Let me just say it is not ideal. Almost every book I read is how to be a man, and how to treat your family, and sometimes all I can think about is if God gives me a wife how will I treat her. Will I treat her in the way I have been instructed through the scriptures, or will I revert to what was modeled to me through my family. Pshycology will tell me that I will revert back to my roots. I contend that with the help of God, and only with his help I can build a family that his honoring to him and brings glory to him, but only through Him!
I have an idea how to do it. I think if God gives me a young lady to call my wife, if I spend every day for the rest of my life making her feel like the most special and beautiful girl in the world, that is a good start. Now, if I can just convince a girl to let me do that (Good luck to me). For kids, I am certain that if you raise them in the nurture and admonition of the Lord they will not depart from it. The question then is this? How do I work this into my life calling, or can I. Is it possible, that I need to go to work each day and be thankful for what God give me, or am I missing something he is asking me to do?

In conclusion, we shold be passionate about Jesus and I need to work on that a ton. Also, sometimes your passion may not be vocational, but that is okay, pursue it with all that is in you, trust the Lord and he will come through. He may not come through when you want him to, but in his time He will.